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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  September 12, 2011 12:45pm-1:15pm PDT

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everything interesting happens." [laughter] so i can't tell you for certain how governor perry fared or what it was that caused newt gingrich to flop down on the floor indian-like style and begin throwing his own feces at the moderator, but i'm pretty sure it happened. but i can tell you thrveg right now in the republican party, it's a wattle between mitt romney and rick perry. both men have been governors, and both could have just as easily found themselves cast in one of those middle aged kayaker with prostate problems advertisement. those are some rugged, handsome, big prostate mother [bleeped]. but i'm going to tell you something, rick perry wasn't waiting for the debate to take his shot. >> a day earlier he took a swipe at romney. >> one in particular that's created jobs all over the world, but while he was the governor of massachusetts, he didn't create very many jobs. >> jon: clever.
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nice down-home quality to that. although if i'm perry's campaign manager... [laughter] the one criticism i would have is to try not to move around in your chair like you need your anal glansds squeezed. you might want to plant yourself and just... guess what? romney isn't going to take perry's entrance into the race lying down. yesterday romney got out in front of barack obama's joint session joba lou disa speech but unveiling his own romney jobs plan which he shared with america while standing in front of america's most patriotic service elevator. >> it's about 150 pages with 59 different policy ideas. if you don't happen to get one in your hand, you can go on amazon kindle and... i don't know if it's free or not, i hope, so but maybe not. you can get one of these and take a look. it's in color on kindle
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>> jon: first of all, you don't know how much your economic plan costs people to get. all right. left [laughter] and secondly, oh, good, it's in color. because otherwise your 150-page economic plan might be boring to read. go ahead. what is it about your strategy for creating jobs that's superior to the president's plan, of which none of us has actually yet heard. >> president bum's strategy is a payphone strategy and we're in a smart phone world, and so we're going to have to change what he's doing is taking quarters and stuffing them into the payphone and thinking, can't figure out why it's not working. it's not connected anymore, mr. president. your payphone strategy does not work in a smart phone world. [laughter] >> jon: you know, obama is not the only one caught in this
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payphone smart phone transition. i mean, superman, you know how hard it is for superman to change in the iphone? [cheering and applause] you know what, our economy is in the [bleeped]. all ideas on the table. what's your vision? >> i want to describe for you the vision i have for what this country ought to look like down the road. america should be a job machine, jobs being created all the time. we should have a job-creating machine in america. >> of course. a job machine. it's so easy. it was right in front of our faces. job machine. and instead of going to war, we should come up with some sort of peace machine. and an anti-cancer ice cream. what else you got, idea machine? >> we've got to stop this extraordinary weight, this burden that we've placed on small businesses. we're going to say over the department in government, if you have a new regulation you want
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to enact, you have to remove another regulation of equal scale. >> jon: it's so brilliantly arbitrary. [laughter] perfect. there you go. you want higher fuel efficiency, do you? well, that means we get to put mouth turds back in bunnies. you want to be president so wad al gore can taste it. listen. all right, fine, let's let perry have authenticity, you're the smart guy. you're the numbers guy. >> i just want the talk to you act our economy. about what's happening to american families. middle-income american, the average american ought to have the highest income in the world. [laughter] >> jon: you do realize that is mathematically impossible. the average american, if he was the richest, you know what, [bleeped] it, let's just introduce our new segment, "oh my god, rick perry is going to
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be our next president." we'll be right back. >> jon: welcome back to the
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show. as you know, there is a hot new trend that has faken america by storm. it's called bankruptcy. and it's now as close as your corner mailbox. >> some potentially bad news today for every american who release upon the postal service. >> without major and fast congressional action, some
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suggest the postal service could shut down altogether by winter. >> jon: all it takes is major and fast congressional action? well, let's just shut that [bleeped] down now and not make this a last-minute thing. how about that? the post office is on the verge of bankruptcy. yesterday the postmaster general went before congress to ask for their help. i'm being told that is not the post master general. do we have a picture of the real guy? really? that guy? that guy's a general? he looks like he manages a staple. i'm being told he basically rans a very poorly run staples. anyway, he went before congress yesterday, and i think we all know what's coming. he's going to ask for a big old government bailout, a short-term, stopgap measure. >> short-term, stopgap measures will not help. the postal service has made a number of policy proposals
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allowing the postal service to restructure its health care system and make it independent of federal programs. we need to accelerate workforce reduction by as many as 220,000 employees. >> jon: oh, that's how, you're just going to lay off 220,000 postal workers. what would go wrong with that? [laughter] after all, the phrase "going postal" is virtually synonymous with reacting well to bad news. [laughter] it is no surprise that the post office is struggling, it's an insane business model. someone comes to your house, takes something you've written, and brings it to a person that you want them to give it to anywhere in the world for like 50 cents. oh, but it's going to take a couple of days. ites amazing. i'm surprised the post office has lasted this long. there was a company in new york called urban, a door-to-door delivery service for your whims, like amazon
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meets domino, a service people too high to go out and get things but not too high to want things. so you would go online and you would order it. this is true. you would go online and order, i don't know, "scarface" and two pintses of cookie dough ice cream. and some schmuck on a bike would bring it to your house within like 30 minutes and no [bleeped], complimentary free cookie, a t-shirt and you were not allowed to tip this person. meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, your equally high roommate had not ten minutes earlier placed an order for "good fellas" and two pints of cherry garcia and a dildo that glows in the dark. so while one was heading back to the dvd ice cream warehouse, another was being dispatched to come to the same address from the dvd ice cream dildo house. my point is this: i miss these
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[bleeped] guys. [cheering and applause] but... we all knew this thing was not going to last. the post office is only incrementally less crazy than that. so i don't see how they save it. although the postmaster general is speaking before congress. perhaps one of our fine elected officials has a plan to save the day, senator claire mccaskill. >> i know this may sound corny and naive and pollyannaish and all of, that but i had the opportunity not too long ago to go through a box of letters that my mother had from my grandmother's house that were my letters i sent to her in college. >> jon: go on. >> my kids are in college now. i don't have a becomes like that. in fact, i had to impose a rule, you cannot get money by text message. i was getting like this jibberish spelling, "need money,
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number 2, d-a-y." it's ridiculous. >> jon: that, that is... the most masterful jedi night mother guilting i have ever... claire ms caskill just entered the fact that her children don't write her enough into the congressional record. right now millions of jewish mothers across this nation are giving her a standing ovation. touche. well done, irish mother. anyway, what's your point? >> i'm not sure that there has been marketing campaign about the value of a written letter. i really believe that if somebody would begin to market the value of sending a written letter to someone you love, you might be surprised on how you could stabilize some first-class mail.
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[laughter] >> jon: so over the past 30 years, the country, nay, the world, is moving inexorablely towards electronic communication. the post office is to spend public money urging us to reverse the tide. i have a better idea. why don't we just use stamps as adhesive tape. how about that? there. look at this. hey, how about this? i just fixed this rip, and it only cost me $5. marketing campaign about letter writing? you know what, that's good. i know just the celebrity to give us the tip cachet it needs to appeal to text-happy genys. >> i would have a mail man or
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woman deliver mail to me than get an e-mail. >> the kids love that guy, mostly because they think he's the dragon from "the never ending story." but still, claire mccaskill, we here... [cheering and applause] i... i may have solidified a first-class ticket to hell with that joke. we'll be right back.
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[cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight is cnn's senior medical correspondent. his new special is called dr. sanjay gupta reports: terror in the dust. >> we have fire, plastics, other parts of the periodic table. >> gold and mercury from tens of thousands of florescent lightbulbs, bad -- lead from thousands of computer monitor, titanium from paint on the trade center walls, asbestos that coated lower beams of the trade center buildings. there was cement, glass, carpet fibers, ceiling tiles, even human hair. in all 1.5 million tons of the stuff. >> jon: please welcome back to the show dr. sanjay group ta. -- group -- gupta.
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[cheering and applause] so in the swirl of obviously all these remembrances and the ten-year, this really is an ongoing issue, which is the health of the people that went down to the pod, and that's what this special is exploring. >> no question about it. i mean, it's been a hugely, surprisingly contentious issue. people have suspected for some time that there is a link between this dust and the cancer that people are seeing. higher rates of cancer. people notice this pretty quickly. the question has been, people have said, is this emotion or is this science? and now at the ten-year mark we're starting to see scientific papers come out and address this. >> jon: why do you think we couldn't have given them the benefit of the doubt and erred on the side of maybe spending a year on a smoldering pile might not be good for you? >> i mean, you may know the answer to that better than i.
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you've talked a lot to people about. this i don't know, jon. i think part of that is just personality. part of that is our attitude towards other people. part of it is are we going to be compassionate people who air on the side of, okay, so we took care of an extra guy who got cancer that wasn't related to 9/11 but took care of hundreds of people who did, or are we going to do nothing at all? i think that's just... the amazing thing is you talk to these first responders, and they reaffirm my faith because of all that makes me... it sort of challenges you faith. then you talk to these guys and they're literally on oxygen. they're on their death beds. that's not an exaggeration. they say, you know what, if there was an attack tomorrow, i'd be out there again. and there's nothing false about what they're saying. >> jon: it's in their d.n.a. i truly believe it's in their d.n.a. the question becomes: let's not be insane here. a smoldering pile of anything, a smoldering pile of broccoli... >> can't be good for you. >> jon: nothing smoldering is
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good for you. and these guys were down there day in and day out with the type of paper masks a japanese businessman with a head cold wears when he's going down the street inch god's name new york what world would that not cause these brave individuals disease? >> i completely agree. it's amazing because we know as you saw, all the components of this dust now, that's been studied. we know that so many of those things, they cause cancer, they're carcinogenic. what was amazing is you got this wholly unique situation where all these chemicals were thrust together at the time of these attacks, so benzene with various other compounds, titanium. we know those things individually can cause cancer and in combination could be even worse. what i think some people will say is, look, cancer can take a long time to develop. it can take 15, 20, 30 years. so we're in the seeing the big cancer rates that we thought yet. we think it's going to happen, but we're not seeing it as of yet. >> jon: they're covering things like sciatic and, you
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know... >> carpel tunnel syndrome. >> but not cancer. they say the science is not there, but the science of cancer, we still don't know what causes most cancers. >> absolutely. >> jon: if their level of proof, the bar of proof is they have to find a perfect causality, not even a correlation, will these guys ever get the satisfaction and coverage they need? >> it is an almost impossible bar to meet. i think that's what you're saying. it took a long time to draw a correlation between smoking and lung cancer. there was a show on your piece on asbestos. that took 25 years the draw the link between asbestos and mesothelioma. people died who may have otherwise been screened and treated and saved. if you wait for the science to catch up, which it may never, as you're saying, you've waited too long. >> jon: have you been surprised by the... this has been one of the more stunning examples of pushback that i have ever seen from a community.
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it doesn't feel like the science community, but the government pushing back on these guys to keep making it more and more difficult for them to get help and treatment. >> i don't understand this. i mean, and you know, you see ads and for campaigns, whenever someone is running for office, they invoke the first responders, you have pictures of them. i don't understand how again you wouldn't err on the side of taking care of these folks. >> jon: right. >> the thing is it's not just taking care of people who are sick right now. if they allow this science toe merge and people start to understand, there are people who could be saved. there are people who will get screened knowing that what they were breathing in could be problematic. >> jon: the special you're doing is based on science, not emotion. the gentleman you have in the show... >> the chief medical officer for the fire department. it was interesting because he said that exact thing. he said, people have said don't let emotions cloud science. they said, here's the science. i got it for you now.
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>> jon: so this guy has the science now. will they revisit the ruling that they won't cover cancer? >> they said they know about the study. technically they don't have to have visit this until july of 2012. there was a petition signed today by people who introduced the zadroga bill in the first place who said this science is compelling. there are a lot of people who have been waiting for this, trying to do something. >> jon: so there are individuals that could possibly have to wait a year before, and sick individuals? >> they're in this documentary. this guy marty fulham, who maybe is watching right now, but he's literally... he's been waiting for this for a long time. and, you know, i hate saying this, but it may not come in time for him. because of all the things you mentioned, mate now happen fast enough. it should for people like him. >> jon: do you have a fear this gets buried in another bureaucratic jumble or it's a hot button enough issue around the tenth anniversary that
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people will take up the mantle? >> i think people will take up the mantle. i believe that. i think that this is a time where people do reflect. they look at the people who were the heroes on that day, not a term in any way used lyingly but genuinely, and i hope they do. >> jon: right. it's freaky that these anniversaries are arbitrary and lord knows we're excessive in our coverage and remembrance of it. it's so shocking that in actuality the help you need still doesn't come. >> i have to say, jon, you've done a lot on this issue. we've been working on this for a year. your name was brought up so many times by these first responders. >> jon: listen, if that's what goes on the gravestone as in your time here you helped incremely these people... >> you'll take it. >> jon: i'll take it. that will be fine. "terror in the dust." it's actually on right now. truth of the matter, this whole time, nobody's been watching.
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it's a great special and really wonderful work. nice job. "terror in the dust." replays on saturday september 10th. 9:00 p.m. dr. sanjay group tamp nice job. >> jon: that's our show.
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join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here is your moment of zen. >> we just went to the post office over the weekend. i got to tell you, it's all about the attitude, at least in the workers i encountered. they walk at snail's pace. maybe if they just picked i


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